ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
