woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
