I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
