After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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