Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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