I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Randomize
