Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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