My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Walk of Shame today included voting.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
