Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
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