My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
