And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
