LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
