Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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