he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
