She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
