hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Sorry about my life...
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
