the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
