Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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