It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
