i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
