What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
my sisters under your porch take her home
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of j�ger and an empty bed here Friday.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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