my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
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