everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
