I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
