She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
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