well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
