operation harelip BJ is a go
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
