New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
