:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
