she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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