why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
