Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
