That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Please don't give away my fajitas
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
