the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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