Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
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