I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
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