you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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