We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
This is the prime rib incident all over again
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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