i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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