i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
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