I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
i now understand why vodka
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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