What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
