I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
