some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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