How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
