maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
