Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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