Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
