why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
