I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
