we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
